okkervilpuddle

Hey, thanks! Your review was actually really helpful. I took a couple of your suggestions in regards to the repetition. Never even considered the plot very much, I guess I ...

oh. haha, thanks. yeah i was def afraid of that in this piece. but i'd like to thank you A LOT for being honest, because i feel like i sometimes ...

I like what seems to be the intention of the narrator's voice, but right now I think it comes off as a little awkwardly written. If you polished it up ...

well thanks for commenting :). yeah, i'll work on that. ..i think it was clear when i first wrote it and then i swapped things around and edited too much.

this is brilliant.

this is like Macbeth. it's pretty good, but put more detail into it. and more of your own emotions and descriptions.

i want to say thank you guys a lot (!) and that there are lots of things you can buy with 2.05 (e.g. a cup of coffee..)

so is your old man picture.

this is really good.

lol I love this. good job.

i agree with Critiq.

cool.

realize can be spelled realise. isn't that how they do it in the uk?

those few italicized sentences at the very beginning reminded me so much of the watchmen graphic novel. Rorschach's (sp?) journal. not saying you're copying, just saying that they do.