ohhewwo

A very well written poem. Only one problem, and it looked as if this was what you were going for. The last line of each stanza was just to short. ...

Before I make my critique, I'm going to have to do something that niether of us will enjoy. That's right, I'm going to have to welcome you to YWS. I ...

Ancient Chinese proverb: "He who laughs last, is slowest." ... Okay, the real version is "He who laughs last, laughs best," if no one got that. But, anyway, this was ...

Hmmm... very interesting. It really seemed to have a driving, forceful rhythm, like, *gasp*, war drums. The first part I had to read a few times to understand, but once ...

Teehee :D That was just as cute as the first! ... sorry ... But, no, really, this was a good, creative adaption of an old fairy tale ... that happened ...

Wow. This was the shiznit!!!!! (That's good, if your wondering). They were all different, with totally unique styles, but they somehow still went together. I esspecially liked the middle stanza ...

This was really interesting, CL. It reflected your poetry greatly, but still was something of it's own. The title was interesting, as well. It made a little more since after ...

This is not a word I use often, nor is it often welcome to me as a complement, but this was "cute." It was very creative. I'm sure that you ...

Not a bad begginning. For some reason, when your character says "I just am ,"it seems like it should just be "I am." I don't know, maybe I'm just OCD ...

I really liked this piece. I kept wanting to get to the end. In the good way, of course. I was disappointed when the end didn't get to the date. ...

This writing is good. The sentence structure, etc. But the story went really, really slowly. It didn't go anywhere. Basically, it was boring. The only thing that made me want ...

Okay, first of all, you really need to make your posts readable. It sounds like total jiberish when read aloud. Also, this is probably best fit in the "About the ...

This ... was really good. I could feel the emptiness of this planet. The intro was beautiful. It described this unfamiliar universe in such a way that it made me ...

Okay, the poem was good, it just didn't flow well. I think you should break some of the lines up. They're all really uneven. Like, It watches me it sees ...

Come on Chevy, it's CL, it has to be French with her. Anyway, this was just as awesome as your others. For some reason, I really love the second line ...