ofir

This was wonderful! I never expected the twist in the end! You did great! One little thing though... in the line "from a mattress" you sort of break the flow. ...

I could find no faults. The emotion was so real... I'm sure almost anyone can relate to this, and yet you phrased it so beautifuly. I aboslutely love the play ...

A very original idea! The writing style is very severe, and actually gave me goosebumps! I believe you could turn this into a whole novel if you wanted to, actually. ...

I'm on the verge of tears, because this was so touching. I love the character's voice. I love how real you made it feel. You wrote it in a slightly ...

Well, this was a fun read! :) You defined your character very well. The repeated, 'ya know' was a nice touch. I really enjoyed reading this! I can't really give ...

Wow... That was very touching. I liked the character's voice, how she explained the situation in a soothing manner. She was very round and real. I thought you may have ...

This was wonderful! The characters were very deep, don't you fret. I loved this. The images you used were amazing and had a very strong impact. Your choice of words, ...

Hello! I love the idea - very original, and very well written. You repeated a lot of things in this piece, some worked and others less: The repetition of the ...

I don't even have anything to critique! You did very, very well. The emotions were clear, the paragraphs were split perfectly, and I have to tell you, you just did ...

As usual, you're excellent. I think Olivia's first reaction was terrific. I did not, however, like the way Luke responded. He "killed" [he considers himelf guilty, though it's not his ...

I have absolutely no idea how to respond. I never expected it to be so real.... Luke really grew up, he really has different friends. It's a shock... I'm not ...

That was very charged with emotions. Looking at only the literary aspect, you captured your emotions very well - your words sounded very true, and actually touched me. The part ...

At first, the name didn't make sense at all. But I decided to go for it anyways. I'm very glad I did. Keep the name - it has such an ...

I don't have much to say, just keep going. It was a really good chapter, you expressed Luke's emotions very clearly. I can't wait to read more! Just, did you ...

OMG! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I must read more! You have some mistakes, like extra commas and stuff, but I'm going to let the others get to that. First of all, the par