officiallyariotxoxo

Hi there! First of all, I think it could be a little longer with explanations. How did the parents die? How was the character's life so perfect? How did you ...

This is a really interesting story! It's amazing! I really love it. You have your capitals in the right place, your commas and periods are where they're supposed to be. ...

This is a good story actually. You have all your punctuation in the right places, and your capitals are in the right places as well. The only thing I want ...

First of all, you need capitals! "she woke up with a start and bumped her head on something hard.ouch!she hissed, she stretched her hand for her bedside lamp but she ...

First of all, I don't know why, but the fact that you don't have a title yet, pretty much makes it a little more interesting :) Make sure to add ...