nickelpickle

I'm seven through and I'm still interestd. I agree with most of the others, it was a bit confusing, but at least its beginning to come together. As usual, your ...

Hello, welcome, all that. All comments and corrections are in bold. Chapter 1 “What if I told you that I didn’t love you anymore?” asked the girl questioningly, while a ...

I am Happy Scared Loved up Surprised Not really here Wishing I was somewhere else or wishing someone else was here I agree with Snoink.. It sounds like a broken ...

First off, Happy Birthday...I know that I always say this, but you are an excellent writer. This is nitpick, but I would say "a strong and fearless person." It just ...

I like you repeat Here I am for emphasis and the metaphor as if its a cloud in the sky. I agree that we do need to know the tune ...

Welcome. Anyway, I thought this was average. The word unexpected didn't work for me. I'll just go through with spelling errors and such. Unexpected, there you were in front of ...

It was good, but left much to be desired. I'll giv you the obvious grammar mistakes first. Your kow how people say nothing can ever get more worse from already ...

Welcome! Anyway, I commend you for your effort, and thank you for not attempting a rhyming poem as many writers do. My critique may be harsh, but it shall help. ...

I liked it...You can write, despite what you may think. :) Anyway. Not good, but not totally unexpected either.” The not totally unexpected part threw me off. Maybe it's just ...

We all know you wanna kiss him. Go ahead see what happens when you do. Do you know what it feels like to lose a friend? You will soon. I ...

As usual, here comes the critic. I agree with Bobo. It's definitly amateur work. You say your sorry, as you look in my eyes, The marks on your wrist, Bleed ...

I'm not great at critiquing stories, but I'll do my best. Here goes. It does read like a journal entry. Not that that is a bad thing. It just doesnt ...

Payday Payday comes around again But Only Once a week I'm sitting staring thinking Whys the world so bleak Payday comes around again Only the Sixty quid The bank just ...

It must be nice to be so perfect, to be so cool it must be nice to drive in nice sports convertables and it must really be nice to treat ...

Hey. First of all, this is at least ten times better than Reality Check, your last poem. I'm going to criticize it, but keep in mind, that I consider it ...