manisha

HELLO. I am not really good with poetry reviews so please ignore anything stupid I say. Firstly, I love the concept. You have taken a very simple concept and turned ...

Hello! I'll review as I read! Okay, the first thing I notice as soon as I look at this is that you have absolutely no paragraphs. It is just one ...

Hiya there! I'll review as I read. Once upon a time there was a girl named Matilda. She was in her basement, cleaning out her dark, damp, and dirty basement. ...

Hiya Umaima! Manisha here to review for you :) I'll review as I read. I think you can do much better as to how you started this chapter. How you ...

Hi there! Manisha here to review. Firstly, I think you started off very well. You used chocolate to pull in the attention of the reader. I'm not very good at ...

Hullas . manisha here for chapter 11. Woah, I've never reviewed 11 chapters straight over here. You must feel honored darling XD. I'll review as I read. I like the ...

Hi there! I took a long break and am back to reviewing. I am going to try to see this story through a different angle now. Your description had toned ...

HI (I need to find different ways to say hi for each chapterXD) Chapter nine! I like the name Raven, why that cannot be her real name is lost on ...

How do you do? Why is the end of the previous chapter repeated? What did I say about nothing staying for long? Obsidian comes, few minutes, Obsidian goes. I would ...

Howdy? Did Obsidian just lose his power(or something like that)? It is like anything bad that happens is instantly repaired by some magical intervention. Thats like some crazy fairytale and ...

Here again. Lets dive in and see what his chapter holds. And just for you, Kira, I’m adding that Eben’s life is also at stake. You mean Enna here I ...

Hi again! Lets jump right in, yeah? Firstly, you need to need yo work on the beginnings. You want to pull the writer in not bore them away. You have ...

Hi there again. Firstly let me say this isn't one of your good chapters. Things just pop out and happen that there is no speck of realism here. Even supernatural ...

Hullos! Chapter three. If Clayton is Caden how is he living in two worlds? You mentioned in your previous chapter Clayton coming in to return the book and Raina introducing ...

Hi again. manisha here for chapter two. the captain began, shifting his wait to his other foot wait is weight. Minor typo. You have long and drab sentences. Keep them ...