magiclukehutch

She hoped of being a maths teacher as she loved to teach. Typo I believe. You don't need the s in maths ; you spell it math . [/quote] I'm ...

It didn't really grip me to read more. You need to start off with something different. Use something that will grip everyone. Luke ;)

This was brilliant. A fantastic opening to a great Action/Adventure plot. I can't wait to read more. It had had me gripped the whole time! You could sense how confused ...

I knew it! And thank you so MUCH!!!! There were tons of mistakes and I've decided I'm going to wipe it out and start this chapter again. You've shown me ...

The start of it was great fantastic description!

This doesn't grip me at all. It might be that I don't like romantic stories, but this doesn't grip me at all.

Great story! Love the start! Fantastic description!

This is undescribable. The brother must have been psycho. I could see the emotion. Well Done. :) Few grammar mistakes which I'm sure you can spot.

That was really cute and funny! The grammar mistakes I spotted had already been pointed out! Great job!

Prologue A small baby boy lay in a yellow Moses Basket, with a furry baby blue blanket over him to keep him warm. The room was lovely and cosy. The ...

I thoroughly enjoyed this. Plenty of describing words! Good job!

I like the song. But I couldn't give you any critique because I have no skills in song writing. Well done! :wink:

I agree with Ares. And in the bit at the top, I just new that Jamie had murdered her father. But good work!

What do u call that?

Hey, Luke! Cool story- you managed to put in a lot of action and a lot of different perspectives without making it clunky or boring. An interesting take, too, on ...