lostnspiration

Haha I forgot the f word was in there. Oops.

Thanks for the advice. I actually have no clue where this is going, which is why it's so short and so vague.

Thank you al!

I agree that the first two lines don't really flow well with the rest of the poem, but you have to keep some sort of reference to time/clocks there to ...

I agree with the two people above when it comes to the repetition. You could take the "I'm falling" line(s) out completely, and the poem would flow so much better.

I do agree that it could be tightened up a little at the beginning, but the imagery is beautiful.

It reads like spoken word. Some creative line breaks would help to emphasize the important parts and make it easier to read for those that aren't used to the kind ...