legondre

I think you shouldn't change it all! It's very beautifully written an you've done a great done showing the message. Personally I like it a lot that I wouldn't change ...

emotion_less, I totally agree. The description was good, VERY good, but there is just way too much. I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I strongly suggest you ...

I think I wrote this in the thread for chapter 2, but be a little more descriptive. I've definetely got a picture in my head when I read this, but ...

Very well done Crysi! Your descriptions are great! However, here are somethings that may help you.. First, I think you should be add a tiny bit more descriptions, just a ...