-
Re: The Park (please delete)
Firstly I'll just go through the typos. :D pouting an screaming. When I ran and jump and play with them for with it comes no promise of comfort no comfort ...
Jun 6, 2010 -
Re: Sweets
Tasty little promises coated in sugar: hypnotizing, delicious, delectable, addictive Heh, I know what you mean. I didn't realize gluttony was such a sin. This part stood out to me ...
Jun 4, 2010 -
Re: Good Morning New York
I agree about the execution, however the idea is nice. I could picture this stanza here, but thought that it could flow a bit better. Maybe check through your grammar ...
Jun 3, 2010 -
Re: The Ravin Wing: Two
I sniffed in the evening cold, almost gagging on the bitter smoke. I hoped it was the wood-smoke I smelt, fearing pinewood was not the source of that pungent stench. ...
May 29, 2010 -
Re: The Raven Wing: One
Very interesting. I like how you described the situation at hand, giving us a good background. “How serious?” That was my father, voice like a rough-worn garment, but with underlying ...
May 29, 2010 -
Re: Irony
Pain clouds every inch of my brain tears fears lies through the years flow through my veins.Its a shame that i remain the same half sane all the songs that ...
May 27, 2010
