kshsj777

I understand your point, but I can't reveal his name right away. This is all being told from Jenny's point of view (even in third person), and she can't know ...

Elder is his title. Jabeth is his first name.

The woman's brother-in-law took the baby with him through the charata to the other side.

Spacing - much better explaining things - much better suggestion (don't yell at me!) maybe you ought to put uberhero and decahero in one single book.

Some of my sci-fi stuff doesn't happen in the future (Followers of the Light, for example). Super powers and all that belong to the sci-fi genre; it doesn't have to ...

I thought this was really funny too!

Yeah. I think you're right. Elder Jabeth IS supposed to be smart guy. I'll change it.

So is the vial filled with liquid that will make Ada a superhero? I know you said it was all destroyed, but did some of it secretly survive?

It's really funny. I loved it! Some more setting would be good, but other than that, I really think its good the way it is.

I like the dialogue, too. I'll read pt2 & pt3

I like the names, but I'm a bit confused. Is Eisen and Briind nicknames for Wrhaden and Iistengel?

There is another thing I'm wondering. The scene where Tamara interrogates Richard. Is that realistic?

I just had an idea. What if I start a bit earlier, like inside the house when Donna and Tamara are doing something fun together, like... I don't know... baking ...

Okay. How do you suggest I start it? I mean, its supposed to be everything is all peaceful and then bam something bad happens. And no, Tamara doesn't have special ...

I'm a fan of Star Wars, so when I saw your title, I clicked on it. I think it's pretty good. Are you going to write more?