khfan890

Hey Derek, well, it's okay... :twisted: Haha I'm just kidding. I seriously liked it. Seeing as how Dreamer and Jabber were telling you everything under the sun that you needed ...

Earlier this morning, I ate an apple for breakfast. My chest was so puffed out that day that I was sure that people thought I was growing breasts or something. ...

I liked this alot!! I agree with Eimear. I love simple endings. The constant use of "I" didn't bother me like it did others (then again, I'm not big on ...

Ok, Jared, here I am to critique your piece like you asked! I haven't fully read what Mark said to change, but I'm going to tell you my opinions. First ...

Hey yoyo!! Slowly creeping over the earth, you are a steady traveler and a companion to any who rises with the morning star. I don't understand this part... Otherwise, good ...

Overall, I liked it pretty well. I mainly agree with the others. The captain was frantic, but with no luck in discovery, I didn't like this bit. Maybe change it ...

Hey, there! I see you're a new member! I just wanted to point something out to you. The rules ask that you review at least two pieces of somebody else's ...

I loved this story!!! I agree with the others that it moved along too quickly, and who was the imaginary friend? Also, the only part that really bugged me was ...

Who is your writing teacher? was okay, but there are a ton of grammar errors. A TON. And I'm not going to fix them all right now. I have to ...

Okay, everybody else has taken a long time to nitpick at your piece (especially the grammatical errors, which most people have told you about), but I just want to say ...

First of all, being only fifteen does not help your cause. I was still following along until you said you would refer to yourself as "Lost". No offense, but the ...

Hey, Aedomir! You reviewed my story, so I decided to come see yours. First of all, this is the first part of your twelve or fourteen parts you've posted on ...

First of all, I'm going to say that, for a thirteen-year-old, you're pretty good! The story is fast moving, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. However, it can eventually ...

Everybody else pretty much got the mistakes, but I just have to say that this story was really good! It puts a neat perspective on things. When I clicked on ...

Lol I see you're back... And next time I won't try to do your dirty work for you!! Ok, I will...but ya know. I really have nothing to say about ...