jster02

Thanks for reading! I'll have the next part out soon.

Yeah, I've really gotta get rid of all my filler. I use phrases like "for a second," quite a lot, I've noticed. On number four, do you have any suggestions ...

I think your review was great! I appreciate the feedback at any rate, it's cool to get some insight into how other people view my characters. It's interesting that you ...

You're welcome!

Dang, I didn't even think about why they would go to meet the chieftess. I was originally planning on having them get taken hostage and having no choice but to ...

You%u2019re welcome!

Wow, I was so focused on the events of the story itself and all the fourth wall breaks that I didn't even think about how Daniel would've fallen for her ...

Alright, I'll try that once I revise.

I'll probably use a semi-colon on number one. That way I can keep "seemed" in the past tense. I should also work on my concision a little bit, but it ...

You're welcome!

Unfortunately, this really is just a short story. I just wanted to make fun of some common tropes in school stories, and I needed something for the holiday contest, so ...

Thank you for the kind words, they are much appreciated!

Thanks for pointing that out, I'll fix that once I start the revisions process.

Thanks for the suggestions, it's nice to have a second opinion when it comes to revisions. Will keep this in mind when I go back to revise this after the ...

You're welcome! I can certianly relate to not proofreading things before posting them. Even when I do wind up doing it, I still miss a lot of grammar and punctuation ...