joshuapaul

Wow 9,000 words... I think you will be hard pressed to find someone that will randomly critique this for you. If you are interested in getting some serious feed back ...

Well, that was interesting. The thing is, I didn't get that he killed himself until i reread the end a few times. Maybe you should hint more at what he ...

Hey Nathaniel, hope this helps. I read the first few lines and let a malicious blood thirsty grin stretch ear to ear. I was expecting the rest to be as ...

Hi there, This might be harsh. But you are young and you have done very well. I'll try keep it relevant. A/N: This story takes place during medieval times. I ...

Hey Jaymee, Hope this helps... I sped through the thick undergrowth, my thudding feet and rasping breath exaggerated by the stillness of the night. Twigs and branches whipped at my ...

Chapter 2: Drew “Wha-what?” I asked, my voice shaking. I just couldn't process it. It was like I had a mental block preventing me from making the connection between the ...

This doesn't belong here. This belongs on pages, real pages, pressed and bound between card. The story, the plot, the concept are all pro. It's not really rough but could ...

I will be brief because this needs a lot of work and I've never been one for nit picking. I will focus on the opening - this is my forte ...

Hi there, Hope this helps My name is George Fuller. This is my life. *** Sarah brought me the mail today. She carried the envelopes tucked squarely under her armpit ...

With a hand full of reviews I had assumed someone would have given you some insight into the pieces shortcomings - not only its strengths. I'll try help you out ...

The painful silence of the hallway was tearing me apart. My eyes were pink and swollen and I had almost backed out of coming to school today. The throbbing in ...

Hi Kylan, First, let me say It is so difficult to extract any critique from a work as well written as this. Every word plays its role, contributes to what ...

Hi Conrad, Jp here. Nice story. It did however, feel a little incomplete but something still rung through an struck a chord with me. A certain recognition; the allegory/metaphor was ...

Note: I am so disgustingly out of practice, it's been months since I've written anything longer than a page. Tear this to shreds for me-- be brutally honest. Hey Jp ...

Wow. I seldom read a story that has me competely and utterly hooked. As I read on I didn't stop to reread an awkward sentence, or pause and wonder syntax ...