jearjioe

Huh...Thats funny. I really liked this and it was fine to me Pie Pie. But remember, just because someone gives you a suggestion doesn't mean you have to take it. ...

This was kinda confusing. Make sure all of your tenses are correct. Good effort though. Keep writing and you'll go far. Jearjioe

I think you need to add puncuation. It will look neater,more organised, and better written. Other than that, I liked it. I don't know why, I just enjoyed reading it. ...

There really isn't much to say on this one except that it's very true. Keep writing because this is good. Jearjioe

hey Blackwings Yaeh I like this. Its pretty good. LOL I didn't know you wrote poetry. It makes me laugh, but not because this isn't good or anything. Keep writing ...

I think what you need is simply more lyrics. Add another verse and then an endtro. Other than that Iy's good.

I agree with Brad. Parts of it have potential, and I can tell you worked on this for at least a little, but you need to write about things other ...

I agrre with Pandora and Brad. Not only does this poem need to convince us why we should rwad about you, but the lines are WAY to long. Break them ...