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jasmine12

  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Forever Chapter 1

    I just wanted to say first off that the first paragraph is a bit long. Split it up because you are talking about a few different things. Also, Sunny Ville, ...

    Sep 2, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: A Bittersweet Tragedy-Preface

    You probably posted this a long time ago, but I'll do a quick one over for you anyway. ha! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For me, everything looked like a Winter Wonderland. Through my ...

    Sep 2, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Lonely Hearts-Part 3

    okay. Uhm, i noticed a few small things here. I prefer black for the way I feel or white for my ghost in my dream. Wouldnt it be White for ...

    Sep 1, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Alana: The life of a martial arts master (chapter 2)

    hello! I am super excited to read this. It's so different from a lot of the things I've been reading and writitng, so it's good. “Beginner fighters get ready now. ...

    Sep 1, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Lonely Hearts-Part 2

    I have nothing bad to say about this. Just my favorite quotes. I don't say anything. All I do is cry until I can't cry anymore. It's deep. I love ...

    Aug 31, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Historical Fiction, General Re: Sophia's Suitors-Chapter 4 Part 2

    Uhm, Merry, you stopped. This is the last part. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? The public (aka me) wants to know more! Seriously rooting for James. I think that you are ...

    Aug 30, 2008
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Deleted.

    I agree with the person above me. Things do seem a bit rushed. BUT! It's an easy fix. Blend in with what you've already got, just some of Sophia's thoughts. ...

    Aug 30, 2008
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Deleted.

    I think there should have been more conversations between Sophia and the lord guy. I think the dance ended too soon and nothing was said. Also, James, yeah, totally rooting ...

    Aug 30, 2008
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Deleted.

    Wow, uhm....can't say much about this one. Only that, Helena and Sophia say each others names a lot. Like ever sentence they say it. I haven't done any research about ...

    Aug 30, 2008
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Deleted.

    Uhm, this James guy, what does he look like? SHOW ME not tell me, haha. It's okay I tend to do that too and get fustrated as I do. If ...

    Aug 30, 2008
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Deleted.

    LOVE IT! The only thing that bothered me is her dress. Depending on the time, she would have a skirt and like a pettie coat and all this other crappy ...

    Aug 30, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Lonely Hearts-A Preface

    Whoa! This is really good. Very touching/moving, whatever it's called. You did an excelent job with the visual, I could picture it. Walking father farther, not father. little nit pick. ...

    Aug 30, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Watching Windows - Chapter 10

    But then, Susannah wasn’t really a normal person by anyone’s instead of starting with But. try Then again. yea? I continued reading all the way through in an unwavering. I'm ...

    Aug 29, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Souls - chapter 2

    Hello. I am really excited to see where you take this story. I've loved it since I first read it and want to read more. I couldn't find any mistakes ...

    Aug 28, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Watching Windows - Chapter 9

    Hello there! Looks really good. Who was I kidding? What was the point of going to school? What was the point, when everyone despised me and I didn't have a ...

    Aug 27, 2008


Surround yourself with people who are serious about being writers, and who will tell you, ‘Hey—you can do better than this.’ Who will be critical of your work, but also supportive. And who will not be competitive in a negative way.
— Isabel Quintero