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janice

  • Short Story » General, General Re: Untitled- (beginning of a story, please criticise)

    First of all...does it go on? Or did you just end it there? Because if you did, that would be bad, and you most definitely need to add something. :P ...

    Jan 23, 2006
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Untitled- (beginning of a story, please criticise)

    Here is the whole paragraph. Could you please tell me how I can make it better? Do I need to use a semi colon or anything? Suddenly it all came ...

    Jan 20, 2006
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Untitled- (beginning of a story, please criticise)

    Thanks for your criticism everyone. I'm going to make some changes. Can someone help me with the grammar on this sentence?: "The pause of hesitation before the deafening collision, followed ...

    Jan 19, 2006
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Untitled- (beginning of a story, please criticise)

    on a side note, I know this is not as good as everyone elses on here, but I'd like some good criticism. Give me all you got. Thanks :)

    Jan 18, 2006
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: The Happiest Days of my Life

    Right Janice, I have changed the colour. I never realised it came out so pink. Thanks for your comments not regarding the pink. I'm not really a fan of Good ...

    Jul 26, 2005
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Cemetery Heart

    Lose gothic settings and ancient vernacular. The Transcendentals drove that to death. The poem itself is too abstract, as well. Cemeteries and Ghosts and Souls and Eternities are all empty ...

    Jul 26, 2005
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: poem (untitled)

    thanks! yeah you're right about that, i didn't notice, but from now on it's 'their' not 'its' Hey shouldn't it be "my" because you are talking about yourself flying? Janice

    Jul 25, 2005
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: No Tears, No Pain

    Apologies for correcting the spelling and grammar on my last reply, since somebody had already done so. Janice

    Jul 25, 2005


pain is that feeling when you are feeling hurt, but it never goes away leaving me hurt. oh it hurts.
— Dragonthorn