hopefulromntic

it seems that the marines can somehow fight hand to hand with an elite out of no where. elites are supposed to have the strength close to a spartan ,so ...

yah i think you need to keep those details. the first chapter made it feel more realistic and i didnt get the game feeling where everything has a iwerd name ...

hey great first chapter. you gave me the idea to start typing up some scifi military story sometime. WEll, i like halo alot and this story so far is pretty ...

yah pretty good story! i could read it pretty clearly and imagine it all in my head i only seen like one gammar thing lol but it all looks pretty ...

hey :D theres a few spelling corrections needed throughout the story but not much at all. besides that its pretty good goes into description of the horse and also explains ...

hey :) i love how you can put your emotion into your story. When i read this i can feel how much horses mean to you and how involved you ...

this is a pretty nice change of things for any vampire story. instead of having everyone fear them or no one knows about them. the people in your story know ...

i liked this story. it sounded as if it was meyer writing it. you captured everything really nicely. good job. IT would seem kind of wierd if in any situation ...