frozencyberspace

Ag, I'm an avid sonnet writer. Joy to find one here!! Suggestions: Oh, find a sliver in a darkened place Sorry, but starting with 'Oh' is a cop-out. When you ...

This is me. I am strong, I am brave. I break, I bleed. I hurt, I cry. I can stand against the currents. This is me. Este es yo. Soy ...

Parts stuck out to me, but I do have a list of gripes pertaining to the grammar. You have to be careful when using ye olde english. And now the ...

Hey. First of all, I loved the imagery of the stanzas. The shape is pretty fantastic. I do agree with you - the first stanza is the best. It feels ...

I really like this. I'm going to be entirely unconstructive, and for that my apologies - but I think this would sound absolutely GREAT over a beat. I adore all ...

Just so everyone knows, this is going to be a duel-perspective piece changing between Landon's POV and Iras' POV. Also, Landon's vision will continue to be expressed. I didn't want ...

The books go unread, the drink half-empty . to complete the parallel, you could make 'empty' a verb! "the drink goes half-emptied"? The music up , all the way, i ...

Wow. This was pretty amazing. You have a clean, easy-to-read style. It's nice. I didn't really notice that you hadn't said much about Natalia until I read the reviews. But ...

This piece made me feel so stupid. I got through until "I don't need that stupid cane" before I realized that the kid was blind. I love how you focused ...

Surroundings Surreal I feel as if I am being enveloped into a dark abyss Perhaps it's just me, but the word "by" seems slightly more appropriate here. The contents of ...

Haha. This is HILARIOUS. The whole piece has an amazing satirical feel because of the way you phrased everything rather similarly, as if from the child's perspective. I just love ...

Make sure to punctuate consistently. If you're going to leave out the punctuation or something to give the entire poem a dejected air (you also left out capitalization, much to ...

I don't know. It seems slightly choppy at times - the beginning stanza is hesitant and broken for I don't know what reason, but that reason is not illuminated as ...