It's not wrong
You just can't see it
The way I see it
If you opened you eyes
You would agree
You would agree with me.
You'd see that I was right
I'm always right.
But I'm not.
My words flow thoughtless
Thrown out wildly at anyone
Anything for any reason
I argue for arguments sake
I don't believe these words
They come from my own mouth
Still they are not mine
Stop me
Pull me out of this foolishness
The ridiculousness of the situation is killing me
I start to hate myself
I trust myself no longer
I won't speak, because I won't be right
Can't be right
Close my mouth before I say another word
Constrain me, restrain me
Do something
Just...
Help
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,840 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
hmmm.... I say it was really good! especially if you would turn this into a lyric and have some melody for it. I liked the emotions and the theme of the poem but I think you need to repeat words less and rhyme more also I think you need to add more punctuation to show how you feel such as the period or the exclamation mark.
The reason why the first stanza is rejected is because I know what I do is wrong and so it's easy to reject it. My focus on the poem was not on me being right, but my battle within myself. I'll have a look at the choppiness of the first stanza so thanks for the review
I don't know. It seems slightly choppy at times - the beginning stanza is hesitant and broken for I don't know what reason, but that reason is not illuminated as the lines become longer. The line "The ridiculousness of the situation is killing me" is slightly ridiculous itself as it has such an outlandish number of syllables.
Also, since the beginning stanza's idea is rejected as soon as it is put out there, it seems slightly extraneous. I don't know what you could do about that.