finishedmakingsense

I love this. It's long but it reads fast, and the informal voice really got into my head. A lot of the writing on eating disorders/weight loss are very dark, ...

I like the intentional vagueness and shortness. The title drew me in, and I found that the poem did not even mention it. It seems almost like a disconnected dream. ...

Mitchell woke up, surprised out of his sleep. He heard loud crashing and smashing noises out on the street, and groaned. He crawled to the window in his house, a ...

You did a good job at putting the emotions down. May is a believable character, and you got the mood and feeling of gardening down nicely. She seems interesting. I ...

The crunch of dry grass echoes beneath the arches of my bare feet. I hold my stance and block off the angle of the closest forward watching him weave through ...

Flower's right about the stanzas, it might have just been your computer messing up, but it looks pretty funky right now. The eloquently way she articulated was soft and tender ...

I totally loved this. You gave a really strong insight into the personality of the character. You really got into character and made you seem like her, which can be ...

This was really heartfelt. You showed the reader your emotions really well, and I could feel that come through the entire piece. I'm sorry that you had to go through ...

I'm not a big fan of this. You could improve it a lot just by some simple editing. My main problem is that you switch tenses a lot. If you ...

So I didn't like this too much. You jumped around a lot, and left me sort of confused. With some editing, you can make it work. Her light brown hair ...

I loved the plot. It sounds really interesting and funny, and I can't wait to read more. The title gave me an Of Mice and Men parody expectation, but oh ...

Sliding into the front seat I grip the steering wheel tightly, first day of school. Junior year, second year at this school. Transferred halfway through freshman year, forced to attend ...

I really loved this. It's a beautiful piece. The main problem that I have it with the character having Autism. I don't know too much about it, but my mom's ...

Beautiful. It made me smile and frown at the same time. It sounds like it could be the excerpt to a novel, and 2nd person sounds strange in that context. ...

Hey :smt003 The first thing I'm going to say is to keep on writing. You can only get better by practicing, and it seems as though you just haven't had ...