evelynelectra

This is a really beautiful description of a ship :D Is it a poem? because if it is then I can see where the stanzas could be separated, you just ...

I didn't hate Sadie when I read it, she just seemed like a teenage misfit and you can kind of guess that it might be something to do with her ...

I would read on, I like the way you've made the character do things like pick her nail polish off and observe her surroundings rather than just saying 'I'm bored' ...

If it is going to be a short story I think you should maybe have just three characters so that you can develop them more. I have heard of things ...