eurobeat_faerie

I wasn't as thrilled with this as previous reviewers. I didn't notice much wrong with your technique, but I'm a big run-on sentence person too. What I'm going to critique ...

This part seemed stiffer than the first. You still use 'elvin' too much to describe things, and the scene could be a little more emotionally charged if your protagonist isn't ...

You don't have to put spaces after quotation marks and before the dialogue. It should be like this: "Sorry." I say. "What , no excuse this time?" My mother yelled. ...

You should definitely add more on. What happens before? Also, global warming is good for plants. I'm not going to go into the details here, but trust me. I think ...

Firstly, I agree with everything PinkShearwater said. I'll trust her to point out your grammatical mistakes, since I'm not particularly keen on picking those up. What I will comment on ...

This seems to me a little confused. You did say some things like: Unlike his wife, she was still alive, and he hoped she would stay that way for a ...

You said this was supposed to have a nightmare-y feeling to it, but the mood seemed to me to be one of hot, hazy summer days. I don't know a ...

This was a pleasant read, but I noticed that you didn't use the MC's name at all and his companion's name only once. Another thing is when they were riding ...

Your style seems to have recovered, this part was much better than the second but still not as shining as the first. Half the post was exposition and flashback, but ...

Overall, I don't think this was as good as the first part. The speeches seem very awkward, forced, and melodramatic. I think you were trying to rush into some exposition ...

Critiquing script is far beyond my scope of experience, but I liked reading it, except for one part. Silhouette of a gargoyle comes to life. It resurrects. The 'it resurrects' ...

I think Olivia needs a better reason not to come to the ball. Rebellious princess syndrome doesn't cut it if you want to write an 'Unique fairytale with a twist'. ...

I liked it. You did throw in some cheap shots that broke the illusion of story by reminding me that is was a story. Like any elf, I have almond-shaped, ...

I'll have to admit, I stopped reading this halfway because I had no idea what the heck was going on. The best thing you can do right now is learn ...

From what I can tell, this is a typical hero-myth story with...merpeople? The plot is not very original, but if you make the events at least semi-interesting and the characters ...