dragonfphoenix

Knight Dragon, here to review! (As best I can.) Technical: ...and Hatshepsut, being the only child of her father's with full royal blood... That "father's" is really bugging me. I'm ...

Knight Dragon, here to review on this glorious review day! Technical: It is something that I can live through and recover from, I am strong not weak. A few things. ...

Knight Dragon, here to review on this wonderful review day! Technical: "or bearded, muscular men in armors and a cloud" Minor spelling error. Armors should be armor. "About a year ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Um, bro, you've got some errant coding in this: Her feet thumped loudly on the cold wood floor[img src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\Owner\LOCALS~1\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_imag

Knight Dragon, here to review! You're opening is pretty good, but early on I ran into this sentence: "It was spring, we had just trudged through the dullest winter our ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! First off, you use semi-colons. A lot. Good job on using them correctly. But a word of caution: most readers don't like them. They find ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Hmm...well, after reading through that, I must admit that it was well-crafted. Sadly, most of my suggestions will feel like nitpicks and are probably more ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Well, before I get to the actual story, I'm going to recommend breaking this up into smaller chapters. It's rather long, as is, and that ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Hmm...interesting. I feel like this is a cuil away from most "mad men" writings, missing a shade of logic that most simply twist. (If you're ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical: Your first four lines are broken up in such a way that my mind hit mental potholes trying to get the flow down. I ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical: Iggy's already noted the "daddy" technicality, so I'm going to leave that alone. Such a shame, that two young lives could be ruined in ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! Technical: The first thing I picked up on when I started reading this poem was the fact that you called the silhouette "faded" in the ...

Knight Dragon, here to review! The biggest issue this poem struggles with is the fact that it's forcing itself to be too small, too short, and it doesn't flow properly. ...

Knight Dragon, here to review as requested! Technical: the announcer said, That should be a period instead of a comma. Pualani nodded her head to confirm this to herself That's ...

Knight Dragon, here to review. First off, your numeral system you used to distinguish the stanzas. Most people don't specifically number them, but when they do, they don't use unary ...