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Parker is this suppouse to be a poem a story. Or what? Also felon is spelt with one l.

I think this was absolutely great. It reminds me of a story I read a while back. The name attracted me after fairy tales always have hidden meanings. It very ...

This is great story i read first part and enjoyed next part very much. Keep up good work sokool :D. Can't Wait to read next part.

This is good makes me feel sorry for her. The twist is no happy ending hehe. I can actaully imainge that happened well done Luna.

Something that could make this better is too answer the questions. It just seems like a set of questions right now not poetry. You should put something that give us ...

Ryhminh does not make a poem first thing second thing. First your talking in normal english, then suddenly old english. A poem needs a continuely flow. Also didn't understand it ...

Same i don't like the last two lines either. Maybe you should say what the dreams are.

Don't monkies have tails? :P

I agree with piepie put correct punuaction in and I'll return.

This i couldn't read at all apart from being mind numbinly depressing it has no layout and no punuacton. The way it set makes me stop reading. The layout wrong. ...

Also the live collaspse line would be better lives lost i think that all i can think of.

I never read first part but i read this and it seems good you are really good at doing scripts. Nothing jumps out that seems wrong.

Okay i like this Olin seems to really like you you've got a friend for life darling. Anyway i can't see much wrong with this sorry i told you i'm ...

My second name Swain anyway on with critique. It seem very beautiful but the hey nonny part makes me laugh sorry if it not suppouse to. Apart from that it ...

LMAO that good do i include a regular? :P.