One little misfire
It may be a nuclear weapon
Or a few harmful words
A mistaken wrong move
I causes a world of difference
Chaos unravels
Disorder erupts
Nothing is the same
Earning back trust
Piece by piece
Slowly and carefully
One thing after another
Trying to restore the past
Pretend nothing ever happened
Put the pieces back together
That got kicked all over
And broke the puzzle
Making it whole once again
Baking the missing piece of pie
Which was eaten out of hate
Bring everyghing back together again
Why use violence
No more misfired bombs
Stopping the hurtful words
Quit the war and mistrust
Solve with peace and understand
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,015 Literary Works • 672,847 Reviews
Thank you!
There is potential here, but the way you list each individual line as a seperate idea deters from the flow. You must correlate your ideas so throughout the course of your poem we are guided along a specific topic. It shouldn't be up to the reader to unravel what you have written. Also, correcting spelling errors is not something that should be disregarded. Cheers,
Cameron
One little misfire.
It may be a nuclear weapon,
Or a few harmful words.
A mistaken wrong move:
It causes a world of difference.
Chaos unravels.
Disorder erupts.
Nothing is the same.
Earning back trust,
Piece by piece,
Slowly and carefully,
One thing after another,
Trying to restore the past.
Pretend nothing ever happened.
Put the pieces back together,
That got kicked all over,
And broke the puzzle.
Making it whole once again.
Baking the missing piece of pie,
Which was eaten out of hate.
Bring everyghing back together again.
Why use violence?
No more misfired bombs.
Stopping the hurtful words.
Quit the war and mistrust.
Solve with peace and understanding.
---------------
Here's the punctuation!
and thanks for the critiques so far!
The fourth line "a mistaken wrong move" is stating things twice. Just tho0ght I'd point that out. Good idea; punctuate for more crits
I agree with piepie put correct punuaction in and I'll return.
First of all and add period, comas, things like that, then I will return