darthchloe

Good song. There are a few issues with rhyming and repetition. Especially the bridge, six times is a bit too much. I would say three times, possibly four, would be ...

I didn't like this. It was the typical vampire/slayer story and the blood drinking and vampire-turning processes were glossed over. It wasn't meaningful and the characters weren't new or different ...

It needs more depth. I really love your first paragraph, but it seems like you didn't pay as much attention to what came afterwards. It sounds very random and reads ...

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