(Verse 1 Sorry for any errors this is my first song)
You may call me names,
You push me down,
Upon me you can lay the blame,
But I'll still stay tall, I won't bow .
(Chorus)
Because my God is never gonna let down,
He's never gonna let me, never gonna let me down,
So I'll still be standing,
I'll still be standing.
(Verse 2)
Just go away, leave this place,
What you want you'll never get,
So get out of my face.
Cause I'm never going to follow your ways.
(Chorus)
Because my God is never gonna let me down,
He's never gonna let, never gonna let me down,
So I'll still be standing,
I'll still be standing.
(Bridge)
For I have this hope as an anchor for my soul.
He is always near.
I will never be alone (repeat 6 times)
(Verse 3
He will always be here,
Through the pain and struggle of life.
And the hurtful words that stab like a knife,
My God is always near.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hi, Wakiya!
Also, allow me to give you a huge Welcome! to the YWS
But, moving on...
What a lovely song! This is really good for being your first one, and I think it's awesome you gave it a shot.
When I think about what you're trying to say here, through this song, your message seems to be that no matter what people say or do, you'll stand your ground because God will never let you down. I like that theme. I thought you did great at conveying it especially in the Bridge and Verse 3. (The Bridge just briefly reminded me of this other song I know). But this sort of seems like your anthem, a smack in the face to these people who hurt you. Like you're telling them, "I got something better!" I'm not sure if that was your intention, but this is how I perceived it.
I see you attempted to follow a sort of rhyme scheme for this song; or the verses, at least. Verse 1 goes ABAB, but Verse 2 is ABAC, which noticeably breaks away from your pattern. The "ways" was awkward, especially when read out loud. Verse 3 you tried something different and went ABBA, which was my favorite as far as the rhyme scheme. It read very nicely and smoothly, and was a beautiful finish. I think it's nice that you used all these differing techniques for the verses, but if you are going to rhyme, it'd probably be best to stick with one pattern for all of the verses.
Quick nitpick here, but the first two lines of your choruses didn't quite match up. Here, I'll show you:
Here you don't have the "me" in the first line that you have in this second chorus.
And in this second chorus, you don't have the "me" in the second line, that you have in the first chorus.
Overall, I like your message in this song, and the chorus was so much to say.
If you have any questions about my review, do let me know!
I hope you keep up your writing
cheers for now!
~rosette
Good song. There are a few issues with rhyming and repetition. Especially the bridge, six times is a bit too much. I would say three times, possibly four, would be a good amount. Towards the end the scheme of rhyming changes a bit but its still good, just try to keep it consistent. Overall, its a good song although some people may not agree with the theme. Keep writing and please keep me updated with any of your new posts.
~Chloe~
Heyo! I like the feel of the song, and I'm curious, are you christian? Anyway, onto the review!
So the first to lines are pretty good but this part:
Feels a bit out of rythym. Perhaps "Lay the blame on me, But I'll still stand tall." I understand that you want to rhyme but it's not everything. (Also a can before 'push me down' would be nice for consistency)
The double repeat here is to much, an ech like never gonna let me, let me down, would feel smoother. Also missing a me in the first bit.
The first part feels nice, but the second part feels a bit too mean. (If you are christian, I am too btw, this goes against the turn the other check way of thinking.) Maybe a better way would be something about not giving in or staying true to your own morals or something.
Whoa, six times? That's a majority of the song! I'd suggest less repetition and more variety in the bridge. It's a nice line, with a reference to a verse (Was actually the motto verse for my girls retreat last year!), but too much! Try singing that six times, just to see how much it is.
The rhyme scheme changes here, and I think that the middle part should be condensed a bit more. Otherwise, a great finishing line that just needs some polish!
There's not much else to say, but I like the theme, just needs more consistency! Also, try giving yourself some freedom from all that rhyme structure!
Thanks! You're right.This could use a bit more work. I'll try to get to it in the next few days.
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