confetti

Hey! Here to review as requested. Sorry that it took so long. I enjoyed the use of the 'they' perspective. I don't know if this continues throughout the story (I ...

I thought this was brilliant, actually. I love haikus too and the way you've presented them is really interesting. Though, I can't help but think that this could be even ...

I would definitely suggest expanding on this. It's not really a poem in its own right, but it could easily become a stanza of something bigger. At the very least, ...

This is awesome. The only thing I would suggest is giving the reader a bit more insight into what's going on. Not a ton, but personally the grass confused me. ...

Prologue: "I've learned to realize" makes no sense. Did you mean "I've come to learn that" or "I've come to realize" ? You could even just say "I've realized" A ...

Just a few quick nitpicks: I never knew how this many people knew her. repetition of knew - find a different word -replace 'how' with 'that' or remove the word ...

Your does not mean 'you are'. You're means 'you are'. (ie- 'Show yourself! I know you'RE there.') I really like the idea behind this and I feel like you've executed ...

You requested a review for just this chapter, but I went ahead and read the previous three chapters as well. I have a couple of points on the other chapters ...

Her pale, gaunt face. Sentence fragment. Sometimes you can get away with it if it fits the tone of your story, but this one definitely needs to be fixed. Not ...

I was staring to understand how short the lifespan of a human really was. *starting - If I cold suggest one thing, it would be to elaborate on what you ...

He had a camera (insert actual name) nesting in his hoodie I know you're still editing and whatnot, but I would suggest not bothering to get the 'actual name'. It's ...

father of the soul inside her womb. I don't know about this line. It's just too much I don't have any real nitpicks because, as I'm sure you already know, ...

Take or leave what I say, it's all just my opinion. First sentence is a bit loaded, like you're trying to hard. I can see that it's your style, but ...

Hello! Some nitpicks: Could I ever find happiness? What would be the point? A time of fleeting pleasure to be forgotten as I rot in the grave? Is it all ...

This is sweet, and pretty well written, too. Not much of a story, but it's a cute little snippet. My only gripe would be the opening line. Breathe in reverse?! ...