colourless-rainbow

The class then shut there mouths and sat down. should be their . He was in his late thirties but looked around forty-five. How? Describe this to us. Show us. ...

Oh that was good. You've got me hooked. There are a few typos in there that need sorting, but they'll be pretty obvious if you give this a read-through. I ...

haha. that made me smile. Is this going to be stand-alone or part of something bigger? Only crit I have - the characters feel a little flat. Though, to be ...

He looked over his shoulder as he turned the corner, catching the eye of one of the men, whose grin disturbed him greatly. This is an instance where I think ...

I think as far as the crit of the mechanics of the writing goes, it's been said already. However, I'm a little confused about the time. You mention the fiasco ...

wow. that second paragraph is LONG and to be honest, there was so much text I struggled to read it. Try breaking it up a bit? He fought it off ...

A few minutes and a couple good laughs later, we stood. There was one Twizzler left. He split the nine intertwined strands, giving four for me, and taking five for ...