chocoholic

Oay, this is way better than the first two! Your characters are pretty good, but Ronald was a lot different to what he was, but I prefer him this way. ...

Nice. I don't think I need to go through it line by line because no mistakes or anything jumped out at me. It seemed very casual, and at first that ...

Very nice. Your descriptions strike images in your readers heads and there's plenty of emotion, without making the reader want to cry. At first, it was just a little weed. ...

Argh! That was even creepier! How can yo do this to me? I won't sleep anymore! "Madeline! Where is Madeline? Henry come quick!" Who's Madeline? Again, didn't completely understand the ...

Interestig. I thought it was good, bu you repeated yourself alot. For instance: Such areas include the medical field area of medicine the medical field This is just in two ...

I don't know. I didn't really like this one as much as the first one. I mean, it was okay, just my personal taste made me a bit prejudice. I ...

Nice. I liked it. Mr. Hanesworth, the closet homosexual Random fact, it took me three times to realise that it was closet, and not closest. Also, I think you shoul ...

Interesting. I liked it, I've read loads of stories about prositutes, but this was very original. The women stood on the street corner, her high heels clacking against the hard ...

That was... a bit random. I didn't really see the point in it. There wasn't any story, it was just writing. You did have nice descriptions, though. And some of ...

Okay, that was really, really, really creepy. But quite good. Apart from scaring me half to death, I really liked it. "Hey, baby," the woman called as Ian entered the ...

I don't have much of a crit, bu I couldn't find anything wrong with it. There was no eorrors and nothing caught my eye and said, 'I'm written wrong! Point ...

Well, it's not my first pick but it's alright. I found the whole plot a bit chilche. A girl who is forced into paegent's by her mum but doesn't actually ...

I like it. "Your mother, she's... died, in battle. Im very sorry, Miss Romano." I don't think the daughter would be the one told. They would probably want to speak ...

Okay, now it's time for a much better crit. I was confused. All the photos we had in the house from when mum was younger and living in Italy only ...

Yay! Singing! I love singing! I love reading about singing! Sorry. I just went a bit crazy then. Now, onto a crit. Is trhis finished? Because it seems more like ...