chocoholic

I've read the first four chapters, but have only just decided to critique. I want to d more Romance, and this isn't too mushy. Isn’t it funny how years can ...

Okay, so poetry isn't my area of expertise, and I don't know how mch I can help you. I quite liked this. I like reading poetry and lyrics that are ...

This was really sweet. You captured the emotion perfectly, and I almost cried! Sorry I can' be of more help. The one thing I can say is your formatting. It's ...

I liked this. I could put it to music pretty simply. It's a simple song, but it says a lot. The songs I wrote on my beaten up guitar Reflect ...

Hey. I'm not very good at lyrics, but I'll try my best. First of all, I had real trouble putting this song to a tune in my head. And when ...

I'd like to sart off by say poetry isn't my best thing, so you may just want to ignore this crit. But overall there isn't any emotion. I read it, ...

I'm afraid my eyes skimmed the beginning, but what I read (from the start of the dialogue), it was really good. Very vivid, and a little creepy. I was a ...

First of all, in English please? Maths is one of my wrst subjects, second only to Sciene. Plus I'm only in year nine. But what I could understand was cool. ...

On the bottom shelf of the small old wooden shelf up in my Grand-ma’s attic sat a small rusty metal box with a tiny lock on it. On the either ...

mundane I don't like the use of this word. So far you seem to be conveying cookies as a wonderful thing, and now you go and say that they're nothing ...

The enclosure hummed with noise, limelight’s shone forth from neon lamps and various perfumes and other bodily smell emanated off the people. I would write, The enclosure hummed with noise. ...

It was a beautiful dawn. The morning sun was drifting up lazily over the mountains, and the air was cool and refreshing. At the outskirts of the mountain range was ...

,” Esten said calmly I would replace this Esen with she. You do this quite a bit. don’t ge get send tha that honoured My word is saying that this ...

mewling Maybe it's just me, but I have never seen this word in my life. “Come in, then,” she said finally. The two souls, still tightly twined around each other, ...

yanked open, then slammed and then blinding I would say, almost blinding I really liked this. Your writing style is very simple, but there's a lot lying underneath, if you ...