chocoholic

I'm not up to doing a proper critique because I'm tired and a little bit sick, but I will just tell you what I thought. I have to say I ...

Hey. This was pretty good. Are you sure this is your first story? Surely you've written others before this? Usually first stories make you want to cringe, but if you ...

This was quite good. I was surprised when I reached the end. from the rest of the piece, I had expected a lone short story, not something that will be ...

Well, first of all, I don't think this belongs on Other Fiction. It seems to be more of a fantasy piece, so I would get a mod to move it ...

That was amazing. I was staring at the writing, hanging onto every word, and it's not often I do that. This, is my opinion, is probably one of the best ...

What perfect timing? I just critiqued the other one to find this! It was longer, which definitely made it better reading. There was no Jamie, though, which annoyed me. I ...

This was really good. I especially liked how yo used what you'd written in the prologue as a part of this. It gives a flashback without it being a proper ...

This is beautiful. I really like it. It's too short for me to really comment on, but I liked how you switched form the characters. I also thought Jamie was ...

First of all, Welcome to YWS! I hope you have a good time here and meet loads of great people (which, of course, you will) Here on YWS we have ...

To be perfectly honest with you, I didn't enjoy this. It was written very simple, with almost no description or feeling, but you ended it with the worst possible story ...

This was weird and confusing, but very funny at the same time. There was something very appealing about the title, who wouldn't want to read a story named Toothpaste? It's ...

I'm not in the mood to do a full-on review, so I'll just give you my comments (Sorry, post in my lyrics request thread if you want a full review ...

I've been absent from the lyrics forum for a while, and I saw that this song had no critiques, so I jumped straight to fixing that! V1 Please get rid ...

I liked this. Is it true? Going from how it's written, I wouldn't think so. It just sounds very open, and I think that if it were true, there would ...

*Breaths a sigh of relief* I was very scared about what I was going to read here, but it actually wasn't too bad. I think it was more focused on ...