Mother
She never thought she would be in this position. Do children not learn from their parents’ mistakes? Did Kerry not learn from her own mother? She dabbed a makeup wipe underneath her eyes to remove the stray mascara, pushed out of place by the copious amount of tears. She could not stop them pouring. Leaving the house without her coat and with her hair still damp from the shower, Kerry looked far from her usual glamorous self.
It was a three mile walk to the Williams household, but she did not even consider driving there. Subconsciously, she knew she could not concentrate on the road. All these morals and ways of thinking should of rubbed off on her daughter, she thought with an empty sigh. The news had not sunk in yet, and at this moment in time, she was not sure if it ever would. Her pulse was the only thing she concentrated on as she faced the long walk. Kerry wished she knew what she would find at the end of it.
The street wound round to the right and the usually small and unassuming terraced house loomed over her menacingly. Kerry had dropped Summer off in the car here so many times. How had she been this stupid? What would she say when she got there? Kerry was not even aware that her feet were still moving, until she arrived at her destination. She closed her eyes and let her knuckles knock on the door, not sure what to expect. Kerry was a mother, a mother who had just found out her fifteen year old daughter had been conducting a sexual relationship with her eighteen year old boyfriend. This was illegal. This was her daughter. This was her daughters’ innocence.
Daughter
Her mother walked straight into Summer’s room without knocking. Hypocrite, Summer thought, as she had got shouted at for doing the same thing hours earlier. Her mother had meant business as she’d walked in and slapped her straight across the face. Kerry had only hit her once before, not long after she had split up with Summer’s dad.
She did not need to ask what the attack was for. It was written all over her mother’s face. How the hell did she know? Had Jamie put a letter through the door? Had he dumped her? What was going on? Had she done something wrong and Jamie was trying to punish her? Summer hated not knowing what was going on at the best of times. This family had far too many secrets. Summer pushed her bedroom door so it closed and heard the front door bang shut.
Summer cried. She didn’t know what else to do. She’d pulled at her clothes and her hair in some sort of attempt to relieve the pain and the anguish she was undoubtedly about to go through. Her mother knew. Summer didn’t understand how she’d found out or what was going to happen now, but if she only ever knew one thing it was that her mother hated Jamie with a passion. Summer only could ever have love for him. She prised herself from her pillow to run to the toilet to be sick.
Lover
Jamie picked up his mobile and dialled Summer’s number again. Her phone was still switched off. She never had her phone switched off, even when she was at school. The text messages he had sent had not been delivered. She was completely unaware of what he had done. Would she ever speak to him again? Would Summer still love Jamie? Would people at school still be jealous of their relationship? Was any of this even important anymore?
He heard the banging on the solid oak front door and crouched in the corner of his bedroom. Jamie knew this action was not going to help him. His dad knew he was upstairs. His bedroom was eight foot by ten foot. It wouldn’t be hard for his Dad to find him. Jamie loved Summer. They had been together ten months. He had not done anything wrong. All they did was express their love for each other. It was consensual. Wasn’t it? She loved him. Didn’t she?
Only thing was, why did you repeat part of the prologue in this? IF you are goign to keep it there then there is probably not much point of it being in the prologue as you are just repeating it.
I like that you put it into the three parts, it was intresting and its really good to get striaght into conflict into a story. I see that the otehrs have pointed the more important thigns out so I won't annoy you by saying it all again. OK I'm off to read the next part.
Meevs
x
Olivia! *glomp* I swear I would've reviewed this eventually. Yessirree... 
Oh well, I need to be gouged in that review topic of mine! I need to review!
Well, onto the review. I'll do line-by-line.
She never thought she would be in this position. Do children not learn from their parents’ mistakes? Did Kerry not learn from her own mother? She dabbed a makeup wipe underneath her eyes to remove the stray mascara, pushed out of place by the copious [s]amount of[/s] tears. She could not stop them pouring
Leaving the house without her coat and with her hair still damp from the shower, Kerry looked far from her usual glamorous self.
All these morals and ways of thinking should of rubbed off on her daughter, she thought with an empty sigh.
Kerry was a mother, a mother who had just found out her fifteen year old daughter had been conducting a sexual relationship with her eighteen year old boyfriend. This was illegal. This was her daughter. This was her daughters’ innocence.
Hypocrite, Summer thought, as she had got shouted at for doing the same thing hours earlier
Would she ever speak to him again? Would Summer still love Jamie? Would people at school still be jealous of their relationship? Was any of this even important anymore?
This was really good. I especially liked how yo used what you'd written in the prologue as a part of this. It gives a flashback without it being a proper flashback, you just tarted the story at a different place.
Did Kerry not learn from her own mother?
Hiya!
Mother
She never thought she would be in this position. Do children not learn from their parents’ mistakes? Did Kerry not learn from her own mother? She dabbed a makeup wipe underneath her eyes to remove the stray mascara, [s]pushed[/s] smudged? out of place by the copious amount of tears. She could not stop them pouring. Leaving the house without her coat and with her hair still damp from the shower, Kerry looked far from her usual glamorous self.
It was a three mile walk to the Williams' household, but she did not even consider driving there. Subconsciously, she knew she could not concentrate on the road. All these morals and ways of thinking should [s]of[/s] have rubbed off on her daughter, she thought with an empty sigh. The news had not sunk in yet, and, at this moment in time, she was not sure if it ever would. Her pulse was the only thing she concentrated on as she faced the long walk. Kerry wished she knew what she would find at the end of it.
The street wound round to the right and the usually small and unassuming terraced house loomed over her menacingly. Kerry had dropped Summer off in the car here so many times. How [s]had she been[/s] could she have been this stupid? What would she say when she got there? Kerry was not even aware that her feet were still moving, until she arrived at her destination. She closed her eyes and let her knuckles knock on the door, not sure what to expect. Kerry was a mother, a mother who had just found out her fifteen-year-old daughter had been conducting a sexual relationship with her eighteen-year-old boyfriend. This was illegal. This was her daughter. This was her daughter's innocence.
Daughter
Her mother walked straight into Summer’s room without knocking. Hypocrite, Summer thought, as she had got shouted at for doing the same thing hours earlier. Her mother had meant business as she’d walked in and slapped her straight across the face. Kerry had only hit her once before, not long after she had split up with Summer’s dad.
Lover
Jamie picked up his mobile and dialled Summer’s number again. Her phone was still switched off. She never had her phone switched off, even when she was at school. The text messages he had sent had not been delivered. She was completely unaware of what he had done. Would she ever speak to him again? Would Summer still love Jamie?
He heard the banging on the solid oak front door and crouched in the corner of his bedroom. Jamie knew this action was not going to help him. His dad knew he was upstairs. His bedroom was eight foot by ten foot. It wouldn’t be hard for his Dad to find him.
Jamie loved Summer. They had been together ten months. He had not done anything wrong. All they did was express their love for each other. It was consensual. Wasn’t it? She loved him. Didn’t she?
Well, I read this from beginning to end, so you must be doing something right 
I didn't really see anything worth pointing out, but there is one suggestion I have. While reading, I was kind of excited to find out what this hideous crime was that Summer had done. I was disappointed when I did, because I don't think it's so serious that everyone involved is either crying or hiding or devastated. I think that if Summer was dating a TEACHER or something, now THAT would be something to freak out about. Just a thought.
Keep writing, Olivia. You're doing good, so far.
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