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When it's only grammar and spelling you want checked, I'm your man! Sometimes I wish I didn't have fur like the gars , she thought to herself as she watched ...

Oh hai. Two things I might point out first off: 1: It's probably not a wise idea to post your full name on here, for security reasons. 2: I notice ...

Maybe I do need a bath, she thought. I'd italicise her thoughts. She slid her self back into sitting position, Herself should be one word. He was surprised *by* this ...

it made him feel amazing, exhilarated , a god among men. (In case it's not obvious since it's so small, a comma should probably be there.) Her thick , eyelashes ...

Easy now, Kwest, we are just going to land as politicians. Yes…we are not leaders of a rebellion, thought Kwest. Who knows if the Emperors already knew who Lira and ...

Lira and Kwest took the HC speeder to the coordinates that were provided to them. This might sound better as "to the coordinates they had been provided with". The rendezvous ...

Ah, this looks like the right one. XD She let out a pleased sigh. "A pleased sigh" somehow doesn't flow ... any other word you could replace "pleased" with? “Not ...

“Yes, because we’re here,” Kwest said, slowing the speeder and stopping it in front a lonely, dark shack, made of nothing but dull, old durasteel sheets and barely held together ...

This is the right chapter, isn't it? Chapter 2? You may want to change the title of each one in the forum, just to say which chapter it is. :) ...

Especially Kwest, whom the clones were created after. I found this sentence to be a bit too "to the point". I'd spread it out and make it a little interesting, ...

Tamia stood, frozen. The pot that had been, until recently, boiling broth over the fire hung heavily from her hand, dripping slowly the remains of its contents. This paragraph seemed ...

This is the s tory of John Vasilius Draconius. “Surrender!” the magically enhanced voice was heard by all, it echoed off the cold hard walls , cutting deep into the ...

Very nice introduction. I did see a few minor spelling errors, but nothing too serious: No sound was made to offend this moment, no breath was brought forth for fear ...

Cool. Like I told you in the chat I couldn't comment on the last one, but there were just a couple of typos, such as avioded--avoided and savoring--savouring (I'm guessing ...

This was followed by more taunts, which abruptly ended when a man, wearing heavy armour stepped out onto the battlements. Take away the comma, althought the sentence is still a ...