Published May 22, 2009
This is a set of stories that boltage, Lucy Pennykettle, and I have made up off the story of Pendragon. At the end of book 10, the last book, DJ put a little short story of what Bobby's life would've been like if he never became a Traveler. So, me and others wondered what would the others Travelers' lives be like if they never became Travelers and Saint Dane never interfered with their Territories. We have divided up the other 9 Travelers between ourselves, and here is the first part for one of mine. This is the way it was meant to be for Kasha.
***
Kasha shaded her eyes from the bright sun band above her. Sweat glistened off her black fur. The trees of the tropical forest of Eelong did little to block the sunlight. Sometimes I wish I didn't have fur like the gars, she thought to herself as she watched the gars pick food from the farm. They trudged into the field with empty brown sacks, filled them, and loaded them onto the giant, cage-like, wooden wagon that was almost filled to the top. Boon sat at the front of the wagon, holding the reins to the zenzens.
Kasha stared at Boon and admired his brown fur, and how it went with his dark green clothing. They had always been great friends since they were young kittens. Kasha's father, Seegen, loved to comment on how they looked good together. She had always liked Boon as a friend and sometimes found herself wanting to be more than friends. She always dreamed what their lives would be like together, but as a forager they found it hard to have a relationship. Always being out of the city and the short life-expectancy thanks to the tangs.
"Let's move out!" Durgen yelled, pulling Kasha out of her thoughts. The other klees turned away from the gars and jumps up on the edge of the wagon to sit. Boon snapped zenzen's reins and they quickly began to move forward, quickly moving faster because of the extra join in their legs. Kasha jumped onto the seat at the front of the wagon and sat down very close to Boon.
"Hey, Boon," Kasha said.
"Do the gars seem a little bit happier to you?" Boon asked as Kasha laid her head on his shoulder.
Kasha lifted her head and looked back at the group of gars following the wagon. They all stood a little straighter, had the hint of a smile, and they never looked away instantly when they were being stared at by a klee. "They do seem happy," Kasha said laying her head back down. She rubbed her check against Boon's shoulder to get more comfortable, and slowly, as the wagon rocked back and forth, she went to sleep.
"Why do you think they are . . ." Boon stopped in mid-sentence as he looked down at the furry, black head laying on his shoulder. Kasha purred contently in her sleep through the entire trip home.
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141,746 Literary Works • 675,670 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay...I believe there's a bit of backstory to this that I don't actually know I apologize if I end up saying something wrong as a result, but putting that aside, this is a decent little start. Not the most exciting of moments, but certainly a pretty solid one this, it definitely works in terms of getting us wanting to continue to read here. Let's see where it takes us.
Hmm well this is certainly a rather relaxed scene here even as we continue on. There's maybe the tiniest undercurrent of mystery because of these questions but so far it all seems to proceeding calmly along to a plan and that's a decent opening here. I am now also kind of waiting for something to just drop out of the sky here given how well everything has gone so far.
Well that was an interesting moment to end on. Surprisingly it remains sweet with no hint at all of anything having potentially gone wrong. Well, that definitely does however end up with you thinking quite a bit because you do have this little answered question there too. Overall, a pretty uneventful but still interesting piece this one.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
When it's only grammar and spelling you want checked, I'm your man!
I'd put her thoughts in italics.
This is a sentence fragment. I would actually have this as part of the previous sentence, separated by a comma instead of a period.
Zenzen's a name, correct? It should be capitalised.
That looks like everything. Nicely done.
Hey Leth, this isn't that bad. I like it!
You need to add the before zenzen's. But, perfect as usual. Great job. I'll get my bit up soon.I only saw one teeny tiny thing.