charcoalspacewolfman

Judging from the fact that you put "An ode to the clock" under romantic short stories, I'm inclined to agree; you definitely need someone. This was equal parts funny and ...

I really loved this story. Maybe it's partially because I know a guitar-toting guy named Jayce (I know, different spelling) and he's pretty cool. I found your descriptions of what ...

Wow, that sucks for him. And her. This could also be aptly titled, "War Sucks." You have some good imagery here, a really good action scene and I almost feel ...

First off, I kinda liked the story. It's dark, well enough, and it sends little shivers down my spine. You have a few problems with grammar, like you should use ...

First off, the adrenaline didn't need to be mentioned. If you just tell us what's happening to him and how he feels, it's enough. I did kinda wonder why the ...

Alright, your story has some problems. First, you use "he" too often. Second, you chop up your sentences more than you should. Some words shouldn't be at the beginnings of ...

Poor Arie. This raises many interesting questions like, "Who is this strange person?" "Did he leave the note at the hideout?" and other things that you hopefully won't answer for ...

First thing I noticed wrong was that there's something missing where it says "...bother the new people by giving them a before they even..." Giving them a what? Second thing, ...

You comma usage threw me off a couple times and the use of that colon in "and yet: some survived" doesn't quite sound right. In some ways, it sounds like ...

I think it's nice that Jordan knows how to manipulate Lane, though it sounds kinda like he wants her to manipulate him...their chemistry is interesting. With all the cartoon references ...

Reading the first verse at least it kinda resembled a Jack Johnson song...maybe that was just the tune I was putting to it, though. Anyway, it was good. It doesn't ...

The different perspectives are interesting. On the one hand there are the surface-dwellers who scavenge in the dust and ash and somehow manage to survive, then you essentially have cloud-dwellers. ...

The fact that you point out when something is a figure of speech bogs it down a little, like when Jordan is leaving with a "metaphorical storm cloud above her ...

Very nice. Don't worry about the spaces between the lines, it was still readable. I noticed a few spelling mistakes, but overall it was pretty good with that. Everything was ...

Sounds like a good outline, if nothing else. There is some tense confusion (she presently leaps into the tree in a past tense story) and some of the words don't ...