Published February 6, 2011
Hi everyone! While looking through my work, I stumbled upon this poem i origionally wrote about a year ago a an attempt at writing a song in the style of John Lennon and Paul McCartney. I rewrote it, and as tongue-in-cheeck as it is, its half-decent, so here it goes.
If we were to talk a while
You'd be sure to know
That all I want is to see you smile
And for it not to show
That I think about you everywhere I go
People told me who you are
And you tell me who you'll be
You and I would go so far
I hope someday you'll see
That you mean just about everything to me
How could I ever convince you
That I am better than you ever could have thought I was?
And now through all this time I've missed you
I've twisted and turned and spat out all my pride and love because
When I think back on my sorrows
That are not too far away
I jsut hope that tomorrow
Won't be like yesterday
And for happiness and finding love I pray
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140,620 Literary Works • 673,561 Reviews
Hi!
I regrett not reading it sooner, it was wonderful and I enjoyed reading it!
It was perfect from the begining to the end. You did an amazing job and I loved every word!
Thanks for posting this lovely peice of work
It was so optimistic
My favourite part would be:
lovely
I came to think that in poetry, and other literary works in general, a good beginning and a strong ending is what matters in the end. They're the most important parts, I believe. And the most beautiful lines in your poem (from my point of view) are the first four lines, and the last two. I love the rhyme in the first stanza, as well as in the last one, it is catchy.
I loved it... I sang it... and I loved loved loved loved it!!!! Keep writing!!!!!
it was okay. not very descriptive though.
I liked this piece a lot. You better post it under lyrics. And while submitted your work pay attention on the spelling mistakes.
Keep up the great work.
that was my favourite part
keep up the songwriting
~ Tinkem
Reading the first verse at least it kinda resembled a Jack Johnson song...maybe that was just the tune I was putting to it, though. Anyway, it was good. It doesn't sound finished, though. Do you have more? I don't normally read the lyrics, so this was interesting. It doesn't sound like the typical verse-chorus-verse-chorus thing and I think it works pretty well.