canislupis

Ahhh..... Much better! This is soooooo much easier to read now. :) Anyway, on to the actual critique: What I liked: Again, the accents were great! I can't say I've ...

Hi again! I'm glad you added more on to this. It makes much more sense now. :) A few things: Dialogue grammar--you need to work a little on the punctuation ...

But where is it? I see no poem. Could just be my stinky computer, but I see nothing. :( If you post it so I can see it, I'll come ...

Thanks so much! Ok, so I guess I'll have to edit some of the description in the beginning. I'm not really sure what else could happen, but I'll think about ...

Hi! Thanks so much for the review. I'll try and edit for the things you mentioned. About the street/hall thing: This is based off the Pike Place Market in Seattle. ...

Thanks everybody! I really appreciate the feedback. Myfriendsavamp: This is just a short story, so I won't be continuing, but I'll still probably get rid of fluff. As I was ...

I see what you mean. In fact, I agree--keeping the main character's name hidden makes it feel like it could be anyone. The detached nature is good as well, as ...

Hey! Thanks for the helpful reviews. :) I appreciate it. I dunno if I mentioned this before, but this was kinda a spur-of-the-moment piece, so I probably do have to ...

Thanks for the reviews. About the first paragraph, I'll try to edit it. Any suggestions? Emm: Thanks! I'll try to add some character development. I had a feeeling this was ...

Thank you for the review! I will edit with your suggestions.

Whaha! What happened? Your text has disappeared! And I wanted to review it! PM me if you get it back up. ~Lupis

Thanks for the review! I'll try and fix the things you mentioned. About that one chunk of conversation, I know it's confusing, and I'm having trouble trying to make it ...

Hi! I really enjoyed reading this one as well, and can't wait for the next one. One question: Why is it in a quote box? I found that distracting. Also, ...

Thanks! I was wondeirng if anyone would notice that. I will!

Thanks! The first part of this was actually an old piece, I hust decided to finish it for the contest, and then realized that it was waaaay to long. I ...