canislupis

Nice job! This is one of those stories where you don't quite understand it untill the end, where it sorta clicks into place. I agree with the other reviewers that ...

Nice piece. You probably should revise some of your ideas a little bit, but otherwise it is pretty good. Jabber the hut already pointed out most of the errors I ...

your story came accros as very beleivable and genuine feeling. I would also agree about the little kid speech which works really well for you. however, I would say the ...

Ok, this is really creepy. good idea, but you should make it a little clearer. also the spacing in the beggining is a little weird. it is kindof confusing in ...

I agree with the other reveiwers. I agree with your opinion, but you need to voice it better. They critiqued your spelling, but I didn't think it was that bad. ...

Overall, I liked it. Other than what gadi pointed out, your stoy is a bit information dumpy. the format in which this is written makes it hard not to be, ...

I like the premise, and the ending. However, some of the dialogue sounds very forced. [Nahimana went to bed and soon after a nice sleep it was morning.] this sentence ...

I really like the way you wrote this story, your style is unique and very interesting. I also like the characters that you created, they are all very creative and ...

Ok, you have a pretty nice begginning to a story, but you have some minor problems. In some parts I noticed that you were using commas excessively,which takes away from ...