breannarh

Some of the action in here was certainly sort of hard to follow; a quick pace is good, but sometimes it seemed like the pace in here was just a ...

For some reason the ~'s kind of distracted me just a little bit, but I'm sure that has more to do with me than the ~'s themselves. The only other ...

The first thing I noticed was that you start out with the narrator on the bus and then, for some reason, a couple lines later he seems to be on ...

I think a lot of this could be made stronger if you took out the bits that are just statements and express them instead with imagery or symbolism of some ...

I think there's something wrong with me mentally because even though the poem held all the clues of being kind of a simple, child-like version of the London Bridge Is ...

While this certainly did sound interesting read out loud, I'm not sure that that's quite enough to make a poem. I have to be honest, and it might just be, ...

I really liked the consistency with the imagery. The fact that it was all space-related just kind of wove it together really tightly. I haven't read much poetry that actually ...