brassnbridle

I believe this is in the wrong place. Advanced critiques are for books, usually added as an attachment. This is probably better suited to the fantasy section.

Thanks! Shouldn't it be that they were scouting out two half-bloods, so therefore it should say "and pulling 'them' from 'their' perfectly..." Originally there was only one half-blood, then a ...

Wow, thanks for opinions and in-depth reveiws. Yes, I would definitely read this book if I picked it up at the library. In fact, I have a habit of reading ...

Just want to say that your font is rather small and the text is in giant, intimidating boxes, which could make it difficult to get reviews. Try breaking it up ...

I preferred the first way, where your main characters were living through the battle as it unfolded. Narrating it to the little boy came across as kind of phony to ...

I had been no more than a few blocks away the whole time. I banged my head on the pillar. Oui, I’m stupid. Which is to be expected after you ...

You could replace the archers with crossbowmen if you feel like it, just know that, while crossbows are easier to learn, they have a significantly shorter range than one can ...

It caught my interest, too. Could you pm me and let me know where and when it gets posted?

Thank you everybody for your reviews and suggestions! Much appreciated!

Looking at it again, I'd probably add a comma after ranger in that sentence, too, because that's where you'd naturally pause reading it aloud. Sorry I didn't notice that in ...

Thanks for the replies, everyone. My computer's been down for a while, so my yws work has gone untouched, but I plan on getting back to it now that I ...

Sasha- Sure thing. This is mostly introductions and such, first draft, and I hope to add more to the characters as I go. Again, this piece an experiment for me, ...

I know it's an old post but I just wanted to say I absolutely loved it and I think this could make an awesome book if you added to the ...

Thanks for the help and taking the time to review!