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Re: The Hope of Imagination
Amid the flowers of Imagination Flowers of your imagination? Why? Because it sounds pretty? I don't see how this connects to the rest of the poem, besides that the smiling ...
Feb 9, 2007 -
Re: Two Funerals
It's a poem, and please, for God's sake, don't write for other people to enjoy it unless you're making money off of it. Never will I say who I loved ...
Feb 9, 2007 -
Re: Messages and Bottles
Someday, preserves will save our lives, and when that comes they'll all be sorry they gave so much and kept so little. "they" is unclear. People in general? The small ...
Jan 31, 2007 -
Re: Gems
Open your eyes. No wait, I take it back. Which is why it's good To open your ears. The poem would be better off without these lines. The only substantial ...
Jan 30, 2007 -
Re: poem
Let's fix some mechanics! Nothing more then 2 (I'd write out "two") dimensional [s]a[/s] shadow on a wall the light you see in the morning i (Capitalize?) quickly burn out ...
Jan 30, 2007 -
Re: How Can You Love Him?
Firstly, repeating the "you still love him" message at the end of every stanza was redundant, and not particularly creatively versed, so I'd suggest you cut that format. You can't ...
Jan 29, 2007 -
Re: kaleidoscopes dulled to black
Lines it could definitely do without: my life it sucked. No worries, I'll laugh it off. it's cool, it's cool: but no I've had enough! This words don't express the ...
Jan 29, 2007
