bisquit

wow. i really enjoyed reading this and made me smile many times/ i picked up on a few things that need editing... in the first bit you say... 'out so ...

This is really cool! :) it has a great storyline and is written with great attention to detail too! the few things i would point have already been said by ...

This is really good. :) a nice quick poem that contains some great rhymes and holds a strong rhythm. because i think it has potential, i am going to pick ...

WOW! this is a really awesome idea and brilliantly structured. You obviously thought this through and i think that its great how you write poetry for chapter beginnings.! It leaves ...

Wow. this is a well written and moving poem. your attention to emotion is great and you make a good impact on the reader. In a way, i agree with ...

AWESOME! i really love this story! :) i especially love the atmosphere at the end truly, i think you could leave it at... 'Alexis died on the operating table that ...

This is really great loz and for something thought up in only a few mins its especially great!! i really love the verses and they made me laugh. especially love ...

Firstly, Lozzen, there are some really great aspects to this poem. :) it has the potential to be really good. :) well done I have one or two suggestions that ...

Ok cool. there are some really good features in this poem. good work. i really love the way your rhyming isnt forced. :) i think you could improve on some ...

There is some really great rhyming in here! it doesn't seem forced and isn't unnecessary. good work! There are so many oppurtunities for semi colons in here. you could afford ...

awesomeness. this is really really good nat! i especially love the last few lines. they bring a great poem to a great end!! I would mention one or two things ...

Firslty, Hi again. i commented on some of ur other work too :) Wow, a gr8 follow on from the prologue. :) YOu have made a great start to this ...

Firstly, cool! :) This was really good and i especially loved the beginning. it inticed the reader in which is always good. I think you just need to work on ...

Firstly, well done. there are some really good features and ideas present in this text including the section where you use nice short sentences in the fisrt paragraph for effect ...

Firstly, i think you have created a very good story line and i think you have thought about it hard because you seem to know exactly what's going to happen! ...