averianmariej

I like! It sounds really good. keep writing! YOu really brought this to life and colored pictures in my head. I especially like the last line! Keep at it! luv/avie

I like it! Is there a story behind it? I wonder? Not all that much I would change, except that you might get better results in the Lyrics Forum. Other ...

First off, I'd just like to say I love the beginnings of your story.

First off, your story was really interesting, but a fiew things were a little confusing. First, why was the police officer even looking for him?

Over all, i think it was a good story, but it sounds a little like other stories i've read. It really sounds interesting, though. keep writing![/i]