aspiringyoungwriter

Okay, this was the first time I got the quote, bold, and italics to work so I'm sorry it got a little messed up. I tried to fix it but ...

Okay, first of all, this isn't a review just a single comment. Make your paragraphs smaller, they're very intimidating. It makes things easier for both the reader and the writer. ...

I noticed this: I believe conceived on an old, cheap motel mattress, somewhere where they had the money to stay a few days. I think this should be: I believe ...

Your doing a great job! You had me hooked after the first chapter! Although, you do use a lot of commas sometimes. Well I'm new to reviewing but I think ...