ashleylee

Wonderful story. You created a beautiful picture with this. All the descriptive words you used wer wonderful. Keep Writing!

Interesting. I liked it. Very mysterious too, this guy with the feathered hat. I liked him. I'm definitely looking forward to the next chapter. Great Job! PM when you post ...

Very mysterious and shall I say, a little alluring. There something about this that should catch people's attention right away. PM me if your going to write more.

Oooohhh, I like the ending there! "Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. My mom's coming home." Nice job. That will definitely keep the reader wanting more.

Okay, here I am and I just read the first "I think I'm in Love" and now I just finished this one. I think you have a good story coming ...

WOW is all I really can say...I mean this was the first poem i've read so far that I could actually picture the main character in such detail. I agree ...

This was very nicely written. I can definitely see this published somewhere or a beginning to a chapter in a novel. It wasn't overly long or too detailed and it ...

I don't really understand what time this is taking place in...maybe you could be clearer on that but otherwise i think you should continue seems like you have a nice ...

umm, are you going to continue this or is that the ending? because i don't know if i'm satisfied with that being it. i really liked the whole idea of ...

this story just keeps my attention the whole way through! you should really consider stretching the story out to a longer version.

wow, i really liked this one. the irony of the whole thing was great! :) wonderful job! now i'll have to read lily of my heart 2 and 3!

wow, that was a pretty dramatic piece. it kind of went too fast for me though. How one moment he was hurt because she liked someone else and then the ...

this one was a little confusing in the beginning but the ending was good. how the girl forgave him even though what he was doing was horribly wrong. as an ...

this one is pretty good. i like the very ending line. "when chaos erupts."

i really like this poem. you can definitely feel the emotion from that. that was powerful! good work!