ashleylee

Okay, I understood this :) Some kids are playing tag right? It was kind of confusing in the beginning but it got clearer towards the end. My overall impression of ...

Hey, just to give you a heads up, I haven't read the first version of this one. But, even though I didn't read the other one, I really liked this. ...

Nice work :) This was really well written. The only thing that stood out is I think you could maybe have used a different word besides reality. It seemed to ...

Yeah, I have the same this your story or a character you thought up? But I think this has potential. You have a good start here but make it more ...

Suspenseful! :) I thought you did very well with this and I can understand why you won first place in the contest. However, I agree with Azlla and think you ...

Powerful. You had that inner conflict going on (at least, that's how I took it. I might be wrong :) ) and it held me until the end. Very well ...

Interesting. Very eerie and suspenseful. Nice touch! :) However, first I agree with the others and think you should change this to first person. Also, your paragraphs should be spaced ...

I thought this was really good. Your descriptions were great and there was one particular line that made me smile: A breath of icy wind stirs the thick foliage above ...

Hello. I am your first review! :) This, I found, very descriptive, which is wonderful. You described everything so well that I could picture exactly what the theater looked like. ...

Okay, there were many moments in this story where I serious smiled! This was really well written and I only have a few things to say: "Sorry?" he asked, like ...

I'm sorry but this poem made me laugh *giggle* I mean, I struggle with math so bad and liked how you described how insane people get when they try to ...

This was a really creative piece. It really mad me laugh when she said: Whenever I used to exit the movie theatre, after seeing a terrific film full of dancing ...

Hey, I agree with lysolstinks on your poem. Most pieces of poetry come when the writer is in a mood of deep emotion. That's when, I believe, the best works ...

Wow! This was really REALLY good. I mean, this was just beautifully written. It told a story and ended with sorrow but it was as though they were meant to ...

Okay, I found this WAY more descriptive, which is great! Also, I noticed that you went from dreary to a cherry feeling with the main character, which was what you ...