alleycat13

The concept is cool, and the emotion is there. What I see though is punctuation errors, repetition, and misplacement. Halt, Arise, Awake, Fire, Where have I risen? Am I lost? ...

I'd say because it's badly written. The best way I can describe it is this-->when a person gets up to talk, they start loudly, with confidence. Then, if they forget ...

I like it. Here's some advice. What is rain? [s]B[/s]ut tears of the sky(.) Coming down in empty streams(.) [s]R[/s]eleasing pain to rip the world, [s]I[/s]nto scattered, shattered pieces. What ...

That I have read-- Look Homeward, Angel by Thomas Wolfe. It's long, chalk full of imagery, and is the epitome of dark introspection. That I am reading-- Portrait of the ...

I saw this topic and was *ahh* my people! The Dark Tower Series was one of the best series of books I've ever read. Yes, I agree with the complicated, ...

I'd have to disagree with Amelia. I like the repetition of "I met a boy named Macedonia in _____." I like the whole thing. It seems just abstract enough to ...

You've gotten alot of good advice already, and it was rightly deserved. This is a well-written piece that deserves both praise and help. I'll offer mine. You have a great ...

I've read very few pieces in this POV, and I've never written in it. I find it strange and confusing. Pretty much the same way I feel about this story. ...

I think Al Gore getting the Nobel Prize is a good thing because it earns him more publicity and support, all things that he will use to further the cause ...

I tried to focus on the last word in each line, but, I'm sorry, you lost me. The idea of a beast and flame and hunger could be really cool, ...

My name, Grace Winters, written in different kinds of calligraphy, all over my paper. It was as boring as watching paint dry I like this line alot. Plus, I wouldn't ...

REDWALL!!! Yes! I love this series! I've read like 6 or 7 of them. My favorite would have to be Redwall and Mossflower . Yeah, they always make me hungry. ...

Okay, I am going to pick this apart. I'd read the whole thing, but I've already found all I need in the first two paragraphs. Artorius Dameon, son of Ambrose ...

I agree with what has been said and advised to you about punctuation and grammar. And I agree with Claudette about the falling sensation. The thing I like most about ...

Honestly, I don't like this very much. One thing that bothers me is that you call it a sonnet. Well, I find no iambic pentameter or rhyming scheme, so, I ...