alecmoran

Hola Vera, Just some things for criticism: I think it's been said, but I'm not sure exactly how the first paragraph fits into the rest of the story. Also, and ...

This was interesting, and I think the story can be taken in a few ways. But I like it that way. This short story has a bit of a poetic ...

All of the basic criticisms I was going to make were handled by Sunny. I loved your way with descriptions, and especially describing the main characters thoughts, her sacrifice. I ...

To me, it seems like you didn't make the "overdosing" in part two dramatic enough. This is, I imagine, a serious matter, but Kelcie is apparently walking through the neighborhood ...

Haha this was pretty cute. If I may offer one small suggestion, it would be to rewrite one bit of your piece: The way she took a bite out of ...

The ending certainly took me by surprise. A bit too much of a surprise, perhaps. It seemed a bit unrealistic, really. Perhaps that might be due to how quickly things ...

Hey there, Having read your story, I'll say that I enjoyed the second part, but I wasn't too big a fan of the first. I think that the character lamenting ...

Well, this would certainly work if it is a small piece of a larger work of fiction. The fact that you list names without going into them with detail doesn't ...

I liked at the beginning how you used "you" as a reference to the boy. It made me feel more invested in the story, as if I had assumed the ...